Miley Cyrus is Sick

Miley Cyrus is sick. No, not the way most think.

First off, this is not another ‘Miley Cyrus is out of control article.’  It’s a plea for her to get help.  Through an undisclosed source some have learned that the former ‘Hannah Montana’ has a rare but serious muscular disorder. One that if not treated will certainly destroy her blossoming career. It’s know as Gene Simmonsyndrome.

Gene Simmons

Gene Simmons

Yes, the member of the rock band ‘Kiss.’  “It is essentially Parkinson of the tongue.” a Physician who wished to remain anonymous said.  “A person with this disorder has moments when the tongue moves uncontrollably. Mr. Simmons was the first well-known case in the medical field.” the Physician said.

“Before ‘Kiss’ became an international star, Gene had a real hard time. As soon as he hit puberty his tongue would roll and jump around in and out of his mouth like a snake.” a childhood friend of Simmons said.  “In the middle of class sometimes it would start. His tongue would start jumping around in his mouth. His cheeks looked like there was some animal trying to get out of a flesh-colored sack.  Then his tongue would just dart out of his mouth and hang there twitching. Poor Gene would run out of the classroom crying and drool making a wet trail behind him.  It was heartbreaking.” Simmons friend recalled sadly.

Thankfully, Simmons got the help he needed. “Gene came to us shortly after he began playing music.” Harlin Wallers, the founder of the Glossalkinson institute. “It was a miracle he found us. His condition is so rare, most don’t even know about our institute.”  Dr. Wallers continued. “But thankfully for him he did. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have ever been able to sing. If left untreated, Glossalkinsons, or Gene Simmonsyndrom as most call now can irreparably take away the ability to speak. The tongue eventually loses all muscular function if one doesn’t get medical help. Gene was nearly there.”

Sources close to Miley Cyrus say she doesn’t see the severity of her condition. “She thinks it’s funny.” a former back up dancer for her said.

Miley Cyrus, and her new virus.

Miley Cyrus, and her new virus.

When someone would ask her if she thought she needed to see a doctor about it, she would laugh and say ‘no, it’s cool. It sort of tickles. Besides, it gets numb and stops. And it’s really sexy … don’t cha think?'”  Even her father, country superstar seems nonchalant about his daughter’s condition. “I ain’t never heard of no Gene Simmons tongue disease. Her momma did the same thang. ” the former ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ singer has said to friends.

So how does one get control of this condition? “Injections of mild sedatives every two days in the Glossal and routine physical therapy.  Both can be done at home. But Ms. Cyrus has to get help from a medical professional soon.” Dr. Waller said.

62gKISS061004  “Gene did.  Of course it still affects him, but turned into part of his on stage persona.” Waller continued.  “Yeah, I asked him about it after he got so famous.” Simmons childhood friend said. “He said it happens occasionally and very briefly.  But the fans and chicks dig it, so he just went with it.”

Waller had one last thought about Miley Cyrus. “I know she’s young and many people don’t know about this very serious condition. Her’s is the worst I’ve seen since Gene. I hope she will realize the severity and get help before it’s too late. If not from us, then from some where.”



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