Celebrity Thanksgiving Thanks

Thanksgiving is upon us.

A time for turkey, togetherness, and thanks.  The holiday that began with European settelers thanking the Native peoples who helped them make it through their first harsh winter.  Only to forget all about that later on, taking everything the Natives had and driving them onto reservations.  But I digress.

Now I know what I am thankful for,

as I am sure you all do.  But who cares about all that.  What we want to know is what are all those beautiful people, those celebrity’s thankful for?  Well through undisclosed sources I was able to find out what some celebs are truly thankful for this 2013 Thanksgiving holiday.

  • Kanye West is thankful gold diggers.  (His hit song and actual ones)
  • Kim Kardashian is thankful that her baby’s name isn’t as tricky to spell as her baby daddy’s name is.
N ... o ... r ... How do you spell ttthhhh

N … o … r … How do you spell ttthhhh?

  • Charlie Hunnam of Sons of Anarchy is thankful something came up to get him out of the 50 Shades of Grey film.
  • Robin Thicke is thankful that Marvin Gay wrote his biggest hit for him even before Robin was born.
  • Myley Cyrus is thankful some one invented twerking.
  • Robert Pattinson is thankful there are no more Twilight films to make.
  • Kristen Stewart is thankful for softhearted and gullible British boys.
  • Taylor Lautner is thankful people remember he was in Twilight.
Remember me?  I was the wolf boy.  TeamJacob, ring a bell?

Remember me? I was the wolf boy. TeamJacob, ring a bell?

  • Taylor Swift is thankful she has twenty plus years of break ups ahead of her to use for song material.
  • Justin Timberlake is thankful people don’t remember most of the films he was in.
  • Ben Affleck is thankful that Christian Bale turned down, Michale Keaton and Adam West are too old, and Val Kilmer is too fat to play Batman.


  • Adam Levine is thankful the editors of People Magazine have lost all common sense and eye sight.

That’s all for now.



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